翟永明 (Zhai Yongming)

Thirst  Mother  Monologue  Midnight’s Judgement  Life  The Death of Diana 


Thirst

tonight all the light is shining for you
tonight you are a small colony
that remains for a long time, melancholy seeping
from your body, with exquisite drops of water

the moon is like a clean, fragrant body
sound asleep, it gives off a seductive smell
a night is pressed on either side by two days
between them all, the dark circles around your eyes
stay joyful

what kind of clamour is piled up into your body?
inconsolable, one feels some substance taking shape
the walls in dreams blacken
so that you see traces of triangular overflow
the pores of the whole body open
ungraspable meaning
stars in the night sky shine with inhuman shine
while your eyes are loaded with
the sadness and content of remote antiquity

and with them the agony of satisfaction
as you look on gracefully, the power of a demon
makes of this moment an indelible memory

渴望

今晚所有的光只为你照亮
今晚你是一小块殖民地
久久停留,忧郁从你身体内
渗出,带着细腻的水滴

月亮像一团光洁芬芳的肉体
酣睡,发出诱人的气息
两个白昼夹着一个夜晚
在它们之间,你黑色眼圈
保持着欣喜

怎样的喧嚣堆积成我的身体
无法安慰,感到有某种物体将形成
梦中的墙壁发黑
使你看见三角形泛滥的影子
全身每个毛孔都张开
不可捉摸的意义
星星在夜空毫无人性地闪耀
而你的眼睛装满
来自远古的悲哀和快意

带着心满意足的创痛
你优美的注视中,有着恶魔的力量
使这一刻,成为无法抹掉的记忆


Mother

there are too many places one is powerless to reach, the feet ache, mother, you never
taught me how to catch that ancient sadness in the greedy pink of dawn. my heart is like you only

you are my mother, I am even your blood bleeding out at daybreak
a pool of blood forces you, astonished, to see yourself, you wake me up

to hear the sound of this world, you allow me to be born, you let me form twins
with misfortune, terrible twins of this world. for many years, I have had no recollection of tonight’s weeping

the light that made you pregnant came from so far away, so suspicious, standing between life
and death, your eyes possess darkness and how heavy the shadows that penetrate our soles

in your arms, I once laughed as if revealing the answer to a riddle, who is it knows
that you allow me to realize everything virginally, but I remained unmoved

I regard this world as a virgin, but could it be true that my heart-felt laughing at you
did not ignite sufficient summers? didn’t it?

I was abandoned in this world, all alone, the rays of the sun enveloped me
did you lose something when, mournfully, you bent down over the world?

time puts me in its mill, and lets me watch myself being pulverized
ah, mother, will you be happy when I finally fall silent?

no one knows how I love you so wide of the mark, this secret
comes from part of you, my eyes gaze at you painfully like two wounds

living for the sake of living, I court destruction to oppose an immemorial love
a stone is forsaken, until it dries like marrow in the wind, this world

has its orphans, exposing all blessings mercilessly, but who understands best?
all those who have stood on their mother’s hands will finally die from birth

母亲

无力到达的地方太多了,脚在疼痛,母亲,你没有
教会我在贪婪的朝霞中染上古老的哀愁。我的心只像你

你是我的母亲,我甚至是你的血液在黎明流出的
血泊中使你惊讶地看到你自己,你使我醒来

听到这世界的声音,你让我生下来,你让我与不幸构成
这世界的可怕的双胞胎。多年来,我已记不得今夜的哭声

那使你受孕的光芒,来得多么遥远,多么可疑,站在生与死
之间,你的眼睛拥有黑暗而进入脚底的阴影何等沉重

在你怀抱之中,我曾露出谜底似的笑容,有谁知道
你让我以童贞方式领悟一切,但我却无动于衷

我把这世界当作处女,难道我对着你发出的
爽朗的笑声没有燃烧起足够的夏季吗?没有?

我被遗弃在世上,只身一人,太阳的光线悲哀地
笼罩着我,当你俯身世界时是否知道你遗落了什么?

岁月把我放在磨子里,让我亲眼看见自己被碾碎
呵,母亲,当我终于变得沉默,你是否为之欣喜

没有人知道我是怎样不着边际地爱你,这秘密
来自你的一部分,我的眼睛像两个伤口痛苦地望着你

活着为了活着,我自取灭亡,以对抗亘古已久的爱
一块石头被抛弃,直到像骨髓一样风干,这世界

有了孤儿,使一切祝福暴露无遗,然而谁最清楚
凡在母亲手上站过的人,终会因诞生而死去


Monologue

I, a rhapsodist, am full of the charm of the abyss
given fortuitous birth to by you. earth and sky
unite as one, you call me a woman
and strengthen my body

I am as soft as the white-feathered body of the water
carrying me in your hands, I hold this world
dressed in a corporeal mortal-embryo, in sunlight
I am bedazzled, although you find it hard to believe

the gentlest, most understanding of women
I have seen through everything yet wish to shoulder my share
yearning for a winter, an enormous night
heart taken as the world, I want to hold your hand
but before you my pose is one of crushing defeat

when you leave, my pain
vomits my heart from my breast
to murder you with love, whose taboo is this?
the sun rises for the whole of the world! for you alone
I concentrate the most vengeful tenderness on your whole body
from head to toe, I have means of my own

calls for help, can the soul reach out its hands?
as my blood, the ocean is able to lift me up
to the foot of the sunset, does anyone remember me?
but what I remember is much more than this lifetime

独白

我,一个狂想,充满深渊的魅力
偶然被你诞生。泥土和天空
二者合一,你把我叫作女人
并强化了我的身体

我是软得像水的白色羽毛体
你把我捧在手上,我就容纳这个世界
穿着肉体凡胎,在阳光下
我是如此眩目,是你难以置信

我是最温柔最懂事的女人
看穿一切却愿分担一切
渴望一个冬天,一个巨大的黑夜
以心为界,我想握住你的手
但在你的面前我的姿态就是一种惨败

当你走时,我的痛苦
要把我的心从口中呕出
用爱杀死你,这是谁的禁忌?
太阳为全世界升起!我只为了你
以最仇恨的柔情蜜意贯注你全身
从脚至顶,我有我的方式

一片呼救声,灵魂也能伸出手?
大海作为我的血液就能把我
高举到落日脚下,有谁记得我?
但我所记得的,绝不仅仅是一生


Midnight’s Judgement

we need our worries     to see ghosts
in order to see repeatedly the white human outlines
vanish like mirages at midnight
otherwise, such a commonplace sound
fills the room     blowing things repeatedly around
for one person alone to hear      vast without limit
in the brain     recollection crawls over the crown of the head
spinning its web over things eye-witnessed

each night I feel frightened
faint footsteps in dream
walk unheard of on the stairs
repeatedly in motion     for one person alone to suffer
medicine swallowed before sleep
will cut me off from daytime
the tender, considerate lover at my side goes off to sleep
happy, at ease     oblivious of the fact that my night spirit
lies outside his cuckoo cloud land

we need our worries     to be afraid
in order to discover our checkmates
on day’s headstone
otherwise, the letters of the dead
would not repeatedly score direct hits on my heart
and repeatedly give warning of     the vigorous arrival
of this fundamental invisible
what it excels in:     making its majesty
felt from inside the feelings

each night I wake     eyes shut tight
human forms with clouded faces appear repeatedly
the enclosing walls and that wall overhead
coming together in error
continually the head drops from the shoulders of my companion
crying and weeping in panic on my behalf
my next life becoming a burden in his dreams
strange spaces float in the dark
adding weight to my familiar taste

we need our worries     to die
in order not to recognize the face of the world even to this day
otherwise our ancestors would repeatedly question us
about that miserable     all-concentrating fate
the death of one encompasses the history of everyone
a dream encompasses every possible method of dying

each night I dream     at two in the morning
the winding moon wraps me tightly
in its huge tongue     so that I cannot get going
I have seen the snake’s face     human faces
the intact body of the goat
the trace of the crawling spider
no happiness in any of them!
and I know     all that from dream
to gentle, considerate hands
will cut me off from night

午夜的判断

人需有心事 才能见鬼
才能在午夜反复见到
幻灭中的白色人影
不然这普遍的声音
充满房间 反复吹动
只为一人所听 漫无边际的
大脑中 回忆爬过头顶
在目击的事物上结网

每夜我都害怕
梦中依稀的脚步
无声无息走上楼梯
反复走动 只为一人所苦
睡前饮下的药物
将我与白昼切断
温柔体贴的爱侣在我身边睡去
怡然自得 全然不知我夜晚的精神
在他乌有世界之外

人需有心事 才会害怕
才会在白天的墓碑上
发现自己的死棋
不然死者的来信
不会反复击中我的心脏
反复告诫 这基本的
不可见的事物 强有力的到来
它擅长于此 从内心
能感到它的威严

每夜我都醒来 紧闭双眼
面容依稀的人形反复出现
周围的墙和天上的墙
在错误中合拢
双臂上同伴的头颅不停跌落
为我担惊哭喊
我的来世成为他梦中的负担
陌生的空间在黑暗中沉浮
加重我熟悉的味道

人需有心事 才会死去
才会至今也认不清世界的面容
不然我们的祖先将反复追问
这凄惨的 集中了一切的命运
一个人的死包容了所有人的历史
一个梦包容所有死的方式

每夜我都做梦 午夜两点
绕来绕去的月亮用它的大舌头
把我紧紧裹上 我无法起步
我见过蛇的脸 人的脸
山羊完整的身体
蜘蛛爬过的痕迹
没有一个是快活的!
我知道 从梦中
直到温柔体贴的手
将我与黑夜切断


Life

you must do all you can to stay calm
a plot detail like the act of vomiting
suspends its arc light in mid-air
while I ask for nothing

the body rises and falls wave-like
resisting, it seems, the invasion of the whole world
handing it over to you
a life this rich in danger, a life unwilling to let go
turns a blind eye to the daily slaughter
from which planet does it shift so dreadfully?
liquid does what it wants on dry land, refusing to vanish
what kind of air-current inhales the sky?
such swollen gifts, such a small cosmos
in which sombre forces are stationed
everything vanishing, everything transparent
but my most secret blood is made known to the public
who threatens me?
something everlasting hidden inside my body
more powerful than night in its summary of people?

tear-drops soar in a blistering hot night
vessels lacking any humanity chill the air
death covers me
death cannot withstand the pain that runs through everything
but that face devoid of vitality must not be disturbed
both terrified and spellbound, while the room is turning black
daytime was once a part of me, now it has been taken away
an orange-red light overhead fixes me with its stare
it stares at the most horrible aspect of this world

 生命


你要尽量保持平静
一阵呕吐似的情节
把它的弧形光悬在空中
而我一无所求

身体波澜般起伏
仿佛抵抗整个世界的侵入
把它交给你
这样富有危机的生命、不肯放松的生命
对每天的屠杀视而不见
可怕地从哪一颗星球移来?
液体在陆地放纵,不肯消失
什么样的气流吸进了天空?
这样膨胀的礼物,这么小的宇宙
驻扎着阴沉的力量
一切正在消失,一切透明
但我最秘密的血液被公开
是谁威胁我?
比黑夜更有力地总结人们
在我身体内隐藏着的永恒之物?

热烘烘的夜飞翔着泪珠
毫无人性的器皿使空气变冷
死亡盖着我
死亡也经不起贯穿一切的疼痛
但不要打搅那张毫无生气的脸
又害怕,又着迷,而房间正在变黑
白昼曾是我身上的一部分,现在被取走
橙红灯在我头顶向我凝视
它正凝视这世上最恐怖的内容


The Death of Diana

I’ve written several lines     not quite to the point
on the princess
time is a second-rate     it is only in yesterdays
the princess can die     and be crushed
by matter     packed into one instant
her death     obliterates her obscure enemy
—youth, everything
begins from this moment, just as a butterfly
is more beautiful pinned and mounted

the princess is dead     a vulgar dream
tails the blood component of youth
with nowhere to go     vulgar lovers will
wonder at her     living morbid fear of dirt
and be scared witless by her dying

the princess’     death     calls to my mind
those close-set typefaces
the manufacturers and an innate quality of beauty
took direct aim at a life     they (the typefaces)
fell with a crash     and buried
an entire evening
should I mourn for her? of course
and at the same time I think that it could
get to the point where     I cannot make my own ends meet
so I smile     and say good-bye to
a case of cancer and
a car crash

戴安娜之死

关于公主 我写过若干
不切题的诗句
一个二流岁月 公主只能
在昨日死去 并被
物捣烂 装进瞬间
她的死 消失了她暗中的敌人
——青春,一切都从
这一刻开始,就如一只蝴蝶
它的标本比它更美丽

公主死了 低级的梦
尾随青春的血小板
无处可栖 低级情人将
疑心她 活着的洁癖
并被她的死吓破胆

公主 死 使我回忆起
那些密密麻麻的铅字
制造者和天生丽质
击中了一个生命 它们(铅字)
轰然落下 埋葬了
一个夜晚
我该为她哀悼?当然
同时想想自己的账单
也会变得 入不敷出
于是我微笑 告别
一个癌症和
一次车祸


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